Spoonerism

Most of the quotations attributed to Spooner are apocryphal; The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations (3rd edition, 1979) lists only one substantiated spoonerism: "The weight of rages will press hard upon the employer" (instead of "rate of wages"). Spooner himself claimed that "The Kinquering Congs Their Titles Take" (in reference to a hymn) was his sole spoonerism. Most spoonerisms were probably never uttered by William Spooner himself but rather made up by colleagues and students as a pastime. Richard Lederer, calling "Kinkering Kongs their Titles Take" (with an alternative spelling) one of the "few" authenticated Spoonerisms, dates it to 1879, and he gives nine examples "attributed to Spooner, most of them spuriously." They are as follows:

• "Three cheers for our queer old dean!" (rather than "dear old queen," which is a reference to Queen Victoria)

• "Is it kisstomary to cuss the bride?" (as opposed to "customary to kiss")

• "The Lord is a shoving leopard." (instead of "a loving shepherd")

• "A blushing crow." ("crushing blow")

• "A well-boiled icicle" ("well-oiled bicycle")

• "You were fighting a liar in the quadrangle." ("lighting a fire")

• "Is the bean dizzy?" ("Dean busy")

• "Someone is occupewing my pie. Please sew me to another sheet." ("Someone is occupying my pew. Please show me to another seat.")

• "You have hissed all my mystery lectures. You have tasted a whole worm. Please leave Oxford on the next town drain." ("You have missed all my history lectures. You have wasted a whole term. Please leave Oxford on the next down train.")

A newspaper column attributes this additional example to Spooner: "A nosey little cook." (as opposed to a "cosy little nook").